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EL ARTE DE LA PAREJA

Alejandra Llamas  

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Fragmento

INTRODUCTION

This book is intended for the father, the mother or the person responsible for the care and upbringing of a human being from the ages of zero to twenty-one. It is a text for parents that wish to live life with happiness, humor, enthusiasm and flexibility.

The principal objectives are to create distinctions for raising healthy children; additionally, to contribute to the development of little ones that self-motivate; that know how to deal with changes and long-term rewards, but, above all, that rely on their imagination and creativity in order to live; children that listen to the voice of their heart.

What you will not find inside this book is support for rigid discipline nor techniques for achieving high honors or fixed goals. It is also not intended for parents that want children that are submissive to authority, solely non-questioning receptacles of education, nor for those whose greatest satisfaction comes from pleasing others.

I speak of parents who desire children who stand out in today’s world, children with the potential of finding for themselves what signifies success. Who can invent their lives and rules based on a structure of integrity. They will then recognize that inner wisdom is in them and will trust in it for their evolution. These are the children we need: safe, sane, creative and empathic with their needs and those of others. This is the aim: to be as parents guides and teachers of our children– but also their students, in order to have the capacity to learn what they have come to teach us. Side by side we will develop a family ready to spread well-being to the community.

Relationships with children are woven day to day. That said, there exist techniques, teachings and philosophies that strengthen the bond between mother/father-son/daughter, which facilitate the enjoyment (and not the burden) of the adventure of parenthood.

It is important to understand the following: boys, girls, young men or women are not persons defined by age; in reality, they are souls, they are complete beings, perfect; sages that come into the world with the goal of realizing their calling, of finding their path (a path that does not have to be related necessarily with that of their parents). What I wish to say is: fathers, mothers, we are companions of these souls; our responsibility is to know them, walk with them for the extent of their lives. If we are able to see the grandeur of their spirits, if we become true companions, soul to soul, we will take the great first step towards building a sane relationship with them.

Many of us tend to create interpretations about who our children are (when we see them we project all that we believe about them) and we relate with them from our expectations, from our judgments and determinations; however, the child tries to show up as is, desires to be known, not defined. This is a nodal point, a significant distinction in the relationship with someone who is discovering and revealing who they are in the face of life.

If there are dynamics in place that are not working, we should take the role of adults and show up maturely and responsibly in that relationship. This means, if there is dynamic of shouts, of insults, or of any other form of disrespect, we should be the first to take a step backwards, and no longer take part in the situation in order to break it. If in the relationship what has us caught up is the ego, this will provoke an escalation of power, and

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